Stupidity Is Doing Things The Same Way But Expecting Different Results aka lessons learnt from prelims 2005

I've arrived at a shocking conclusion. I am stupid.

If you know me at all, then you'll know i'm a world-class slacker. I put my heart and soul into everything i'm INTERESTED in or if people are relying on me. But now I realise the person I consistently disappoint (my parents excluded) is myself. Throughout my primary and secondary school years, everything just seemed to fall place. I studied very little and perfunctorily and I seriously have to thank God for getting me through my major exams. When I got retained in J1, it was a mammoth shocker for me. But rather than the wakeup call it was supposed to be, it was merely that: a shock, intense but short-lived. My grades and attitude towards school didn't improve very much. I continued to pon school (with amazing regularity i might add) and firmly remained in most of my teachers' bad books.

Why? All I can come up with are excuses that will only insult your intelligence. I realise that things are not like what they were before, the workload is much more immense and demanding and therefore requires a longer prep time. Last min prep does not work. It has been tried and tested by yours truly during promos, ct1, ct3 n now the prelims; to disastrous results. I've graduated from 'burning the midnight oil' to pulling overnighters, to no effect; if anything, it just made things worse. NJC's tests are admittedly harder that some other schools' but even that is an invalid excuse. An Epsilon Semi Minus MORON should be able to pass if he studied hard enough. Countless people have extolled the virtues of consistency. Folks, I know consistency is the key. Maybe I could blame it on perfectionism. You see, I'm an all or nothing person; which is why one week my room appears impeccably neat and the next , you have to wade though piles of junk just to enter it. I feel that homework should only be done after reading through and understanding your notes (and possibly your textbook). However, this is an extremely unlikely senario, partly because of the insane school hours and mostly because of my sheer laziness. Hence most of my homework never gets done and the key to consistency is safely lost. Gosh, i felt my IQ drop 50 points just typing that out(grins apologetically).

But I digress. I repeated the same stupid mistake for prelims wile hoping to use those results to procure and SPH Journalistic internship during the Dec hols. So i've basically screwed up my chances (smiles wryly). Anyway come what may, I still believe that everything happens for a reason. I just hope that this time, the lesson gets through to my thick skull because frankly, with the A levels looming over my head, I don't think that I have many more chances to learn from this painful lesson. And I really don't want to take that chance either.